‘Twas The Night Before COVID Christmas


’Twas Christmas with COVID,

We were all stuck at home.

Can’t go out, it’s not safe,

We’re advised not to roam.

The holiday Zoom calls have been scheduled with care,

To talk to the relatives who cannot be there.

 

The children are nestled asleep in their beds,

As visions of PS5s dance in their heads.

Ma on her mobile and me on the tablet,

Spent Christmas Eve cementing our new digital-first habits.

 

When out on the lawn I heard such a weird sound,

I sprang from the couch to see who was around.

And there on the street in front of my home,

Was a masked man in a red suit surrounded by drones.

 

Drones buzzing about, grabbing gifts from a sack,

Blasting down chimneys and coming right back.

I went out to the lawn for a good explanation,

But a quick glance at his visage filled me with hesitation.

 

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

 

I couldn’t see his face,

He was wearing a mask,

But there was no mistaking who he was,

Given his Christmas Eve task.

 

I said “Santa, where’s Dasher,

Where’s Dancer?

Where’s Prancer and Vixen?

Where’s Comet,

Where’s Cupid?

Where’s Donner and Blitzen?”

 

He chuckled and rubbed his little round belly,

Which shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly.

He said, “everyone shopped online during these pandemic days.

That alone was enough to cause elf supply chain delays.

 

And then the COVID vaccine was on so very many lists,

I delivered it early, which created new shipping twists —

And then a huge snowstorm showed up like a big cosmic joke,

And well, the magical reindeer-based logistics system just broke.

 

And out of the strain and all of the clatter,

Amazon showed up and asked what was the matter.

And in just a few minutes, unbelievably quick —

With an army of drones they’d outfitted St Nick.”

 

To deliver the new iPhones and advance gaming consoles,

The Pelotons, Echo devices, and the Red Ryder Rifles
(You’ll put your eye out, kid)

 

He spoke no more words,

Laser focused on gifts,

Checking the stockings remotely

And then got a lift.

From his army of drones — now lifting him high,

Carrying Santa off into the night sky.

 

And as he headed out,

Now done with his task,

He said:

“Merry Christmas To All —

And please keep wearing your mask!”

 

Merry Christmas from your friends at PYMNTS!

——————————

NEW PYMNTS DATA: THE DECEMBER 2020 SUBSCRIPTION BUNDLING REPORT 

About: The PYMNTS Subscription Bundling Report, surveyed a census-balanced panel of 2,962 U.S. consumers to gauge how their attitudes toward bundled subscription services have changed during the pandemic, especially those offered by companies in the streaming sector. The report also examines how the knowledge that a COVID-19 vaccine will soon be available throughout the U.S. could affect their perceptions.





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